10 Lessons from 10 Years of Parenting
- Jess Baldenhofer
- Apr 5
- 3 min read
Last month, my son turned 10. It’s a bittersweet milestone, full of reflection on how far we’ve come, the growth we've both experienced and the reminder that he won't be a child forever. Parenting has been the most humbling, eye-opening, and fulfilling journey of my life, and today, I want to share 10 lessons I’ve learned in these 10 years. I share them hoping they might be helpful but also with the understanding that there is so much more I'm learning every day as a parent. Parenting is really a journey of self-reflection and being respectful and responsive to this separate individual/s you are raising. Parenting is an ongoing process and there is no "figuring it out."
1. Parenting is not about being self-sacrificial.I’ve learned that the best way to show up for my son is by taking care of myself first. When I’m fulfilled, I’m able to parent from a place of peace and joy, not exhaustion. Staying connected to myself, my needs and my separateness has made me a better parent.
2. My child's behavior is not my report card as a mom.I used to measure my worth by my son's actions, but I’ve realized that my job is to support him, not to take his every behavior as a reflection of my parenting.
3. Playfulness brings connection and makes parenting fun.Looking back, I wish I had allowed myself to be more playful. Play strengthens our bond and brings so much joy into parenting, and I’ve learned that it’s okay to let go of perfection and embrace fun.
4. Working on myself is essential.The more I understand myself, the better I can understand my son. Self-awareness and growth have become central to my journey as a mom. The more self-compassion I can connect with, the more I can model for him how to take care of oneself.
5. Empathy is the key. Taking time to really understand and connect with my son, especially during difficult moments, has proven far more important than any parenting “technique” or strategy. |
6. My child is my greatest teacher.While I’m here to guide him, my son has taught me more than I ever expected. His resilience, curiosity, and true authenticity have been some of my greatest lessons.
7. Boundaries are a form of love.Setting boundaries, even when it feels hard, has been one of the most loving things I can do. It teaches him structure, respect, and that both of us matter.
8. Apologizing and being human brings us closer.When I make mistakes, apologizing has only strengthened our bond. It teaches him that no one is perfect and that relationships are about repair, not perfection.
9. Letting go of control fosters growth.I’ve learned to trust my son’s ability to navigate his world. Letting go of control and collaborating with him, allows both of us to grow and develop in ways I never expected.
10. Joy is found in the little moments.The small moments—laughing together, a quiet hug, answering his endless questions—are the memories I’ll cherish the most.
As we celebrate his 10th birthday, I’m grateful for the lessons I’ve learned and the opportunity to grow alongside him. Here’s to another decade of love, learning, and joy.
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