10 Things Your Child Wishes They Could Tell You

So many of us spend our days trying to understand what’s really going on underneath our children’s behaviors.

Why they melt down over seemingly small things.Why they suddenly cling to us.Why they get wild, emotional, rude, sensitive, silly, or completely shut down at the exact moment we feel least equipped to handle it.

And the truth is, children often don’t fully have the capacity to verbalize what’s happening internally for them.

A lot of what kids are trying to communicate comes out sideways.

Through behavior.Through energy.Through reactions.Through the questions they ask over and over again. Through the pushing us away.

When we as parents do our best to focus on what the needs are under the behavior, we can “hear” them telling us what they need.

And honestly, I when we listen this way, it can help us respond with a little more compassion, perspective, and connection — instead of immediately jumping into fixing, controlling, or taking everything personally.

So here are some of those things your kids might be saying when they’re acting out, pushing you a way, seeming defiant. And feel free to respond to add to this list:

1. “I feel your energy more than I’m listening to your words.”

You can say “I’m not mad” all you want. But if your energy feels rushed, tense, stressed, distracted, or overwhelmed… I feel that first.

2. “I like you best when you’re relaxed.”

Not perfect. Not super organized. Not trying to make everything magical. Just relaxed enough to laugh easily.

3. “Sometimes I ask for things when I actually just want connection.”

I know I’m always asking for snacks, another bedtime story, or bombarding you “mom, look at this!” Sometimes I just want a few more minutes with you.

4. “I notice when you’re trying really hard.”

I notice the tiny things: the way you cut my fruit, the way you apologize after a hard moment, the way you keep showing up even when you’re tired. I promise, I notice more than you think.

5. “If I’m having a hard time, it’s not always your fault or your job to immediately fix it.”

Sometimes I’m just overwhelmed, tired, disappointed, or still learning to be a person with feelings. It’s not always something I need you to solve. Sometimes just staying calm, close and making me feel like it’s ok to have my feelings is what I need the most.

6. “I don’t care about the clean house as much as you do.”

I barely even see it. Honestly, I mostly just care if everyone feels okay in it.

7. “When you sit and really listen to me, I feel important.”

Even if it’s only for five minutes. Even if what I’m saying makes absolutely no sense.

8. “Some of my favorite moments are the ones you probably think don’t matter.”

The random car conversations, late-night giggling, movie nights. When you say YES to pizza! When we dance in the kitchen or stay in pajamas too long. That’s the stuff I’ll remember.

9. “I can tell when you’re worried.”

Even when you think you’re hiding it. And sometimes I wish you knew I don’t need everything to be perfect to feel safe with you.

10. “I know you’re learning too.”

I can tell you don’t always know what you’re doing. Neither do I! And I think there’s something comforting about us figuring it out together.

Maybe that’s the thing we forget most as parents:

Our kids are not carefully scoring our performance all day long. They’re mostly experiencing how it feels to be with us. And the beautiful thing is, connection usually lives in the smallest moments anyway.

If you would love some supportive guidance in your parenting, reach out for a FREE Parent Reset Call to learn more about coaching.